Kem Nunn's Great Surf Novels

My first introduction to the writer Kem Nunn came in Jane’s Addiction’s 1989 video film Soul Kiss. Between segments of the band playing ferociously onstage, the group’s bassist Eric Avery sits on the toilet and gives a brief synopsis of Nunn’s 1984 novel Tapping the Source.

Just a little more than 30 years after being intrigued by that unorthodox book plug, I’ve finally read Tapping the Source. This comes a couple of years after reading his other great surf novel, The Dogs of Winter.

Both novels nail the vibe of California surf culture and also dive deep into the dark underbelly of the Sunshine State. The Dogs of Winter follows an aging surf photographer that secures an assignment to shoot photos of a reclusive surf legend riding waves at a Northern California secret spot called Heart Attacks. But the strength of the book is that a plot twist comes out of nowhere like a giant sneaker wave.

Tapping the Source concerns a desert hick that moves to Huntington Beach to search for his lost sister. While there, he becomes immersed in the city’s surf scene, biker culture, and drug underground.

On the back of Tapping the Source, it notes that this is “the classic novel that inspired the movie Point Break.” The primary similarity between the movie and novel is the relationship between two characters. In the book, it’s Ike Turner and Hound Adams, who definitely inspired Patrick Swayze’s character Bodhi. But unlike the somewhat goofy 1991 film, the novel ends up paddling out into deeper, darker waters.

Fans of California literature will approach these two books the same way a surfer tackles a great wave: savoring every moment while moving down the line.  

 

Son Volt’s Trace and Existentialism

I’ve always been interested in the philosophical theory of existentialism though I can say that I have never felt like I’ve fully grasped it. Recently I purchased the reissue of Son Volt’s 1995 landmark album Trace, a stellar mix of dusty, road weary ballads and vigorous blasts of guitar rock topped with Jay Farrar’s lyrics that read like CliffsNotes into the worldview of an existentialist.

Existentialism’s core is that an individual creates his or her own existence through personal decisions. One of the philosophy’s major proponents Jean-Paul Sartre coined the phrase “existence precedes essence” or essentially the meaning of being human is revealed through living. Another aspect of existentialism seems to be that both society and religion are arbitrary forces in an individual’s life.

The realization that there might not be anything more than this life seems to cause two reactions. One is an existential crisis where one becomes despondent because there is no satisfying explanation about the world. Another reaction is a sense of freedom that life is entirely what one makes of it and therefore it’s best to pursue your dreams.

Trace hits on many aspects of this philosophy even on the relatively upbeat opener “Windfall,” where Farrar sings: “Hold on to what you can/ Waiting for the end not knowing when.” The next song “Live Free” is basically a guitar fueled screed against determinism, the opposing theory to existentialism that believes human actions are created from external pressures.

The existential belief that just existing is more important than societal pressures and religion is expressed in “Out of the Picture” and “Tear Stained Eye.” The latter addresses that there’s nothing larger than living with the lyrics: “Can you deny, there’s nothing greater/ Nothing more than the traveling hands of time.” The former rails against societal constraints with a bit about there being “too many rules to the game.”

My favorite song on Trace is the plaintive, stately “Ten Second News,” where Dave Boquist’s lap steel passes lazily through the track like a pickup truck puttering through a one-stoplight town. It begins with the line “when you find what matters is what you feel,” which might just be existentialism boiled down into one perfect phrase. 

Here's a great version of the song played live back in 1995:

 

Best Shows of 2015

Ex Hex

Best Shows of 2015
An unexpected situation caused me to miss a handful of shows including Chicago's Riot Fest, where I had hoped to see sets by Iggy Pop, Motorhead, and Ice Cube among others. That said, I still saw a bunch of great performances, mostly in California. Here's a handful that stuck out.

Tweedy at Santa Cruz's Cocoanut Grove on March 19th
This night was hard to beat. There was amazing songs, humorous stage banter, and real tension when Jeff Tweedy stopped the show to kick out a guy who kept taking photos of the band after a few warnings. The night started promisingly enough with an opening set by The Minus 5 featuring R.E.M.'s Peter Buck on guitar. The next portion of the evening featured songs of Sukierae performed by Tweedy and his son Spencer and their band. The band took songs including "High as Hello" to unexpected heights. Then the group departed leaving just Jeff Tweedy onstage to do solo versions of Wilco, Golden Smog, and Uncle Tupelo songs. A real surprise came when he pulled off a hair-raising take of "Remember the Mountain Bed" from Wilco's collaboration with Billy Bragg on 2000's Mermaid Avenue Vol. II. Amazing. His fast strumming version  of Uncle Tupelo's "Gun" was stellar also. The encore set with the full band was spiked with superb covers including John Lennon's "God," Neil Young's "The Losing End," and Doug Sahm's "Give Back the Key to My Heart," which Uncle Tupelo covered on their last album Anodyne. The night wrapped up with Peter Buck and Scott McCaughey crowding the stage for a closing "California Stars." It is difficult to get any better than this.

The Replacements at San Francisco's The Masonic on April 13th
The Replacements have all those qualities I love in a band. How the hell was I just a casual listener until about five years ago? While this year's reunion tour included just Paul Westerberg and Tommy Stinson, the band delivered big at this show with sloppy exuberance, a few sublime songs, and some seriously off-kilter moments. The show began with rowdy oldies including "Takin' a Ride" and "Treatment Bound." At one point, Westerberg decamped to the interior of a tent set up onstage and delivered some freestyle vocals over the band's jazzy noodlings. The first encore found Westerberg alone with an acoustic guitar doing "Skyway." Then the band came out to join him for "Left of the Dial" and "Alex Chilton" to end the night. To hear those three songs in a row live is incomparable.

Ride

Drive-By Truckers at Monterey's Golden State Theatre on April 24th
The Drive-By Truckers stop in Monterey was on their "The Dirt Underneath Tour," which is essentially a mostly acoustic showcase of Patterson Hood and Mike Cooley's songwriting skills. The two delivered the songs and the stories behind the songs. One true standout was "Road Cases" and their explanation for the song. Hood described a Georgia band called Atlanta Rhythm Section that once was huge but then started hawking their equipment to local pawn shops to pay for their drug and sex habits. The song was inspired by Hood seeing road cases (or the gear that protects guitars and other instruments) in those stores stenciled with "ARS" and imagining one day when his band's gear is up for sale due to his own band's drug and alcohol problems. Quite an interesting backstory. The night ended with a terrific cover of the Faces' "Ooh La La."

Tinariwen at Santa Cruz's Kuumbwa Jazz Center on August 17th
Looking wildly exotic in their flowing robes and desert head scarves, Tinariwen transcend any cultural borders with a hypnotic blues rock sound that resonates with any real fans of guitar-based music. While I had seen them last year at an even better show in Big Sur, the group of Saharan Desert refugees impressed once again in this very intimate venue. The band members don't speak much English, but had a recurring bit where one of the guitarists would ask "is it OK?" after each stellar song. It was more than OK.

Ride at Santa Cruz's The Catalyst on November 14th
Reunited British band Ride played The Catalyst just one night after terrorist attacks roiled Paris including one on a Paris music venue where Eagles of Death Metal were performing. In response, the quartet walked onstage in Santa Cruz with the colors of the French flag projected on a screen behind them. Singer/guitarist Mark Gardener then looked back at the flag and announced that "we'll do it harder in response to that shit." They delivered fully with a set that featured impressive solos from guitarist Andy Bell, boundless energy from Gardener, and superb singing by the frontmen that allowed the vocals to float above the band's supremely loud two guitar attack. Many reunited groups tend to phone in performances, but Ride, and Gardener, in particular, were truly fired up for the show, remarking about the greatness of the crowd, the venue, and the band's year in general. The set was split mostly between songs from 1990's Nowhere and 1992's Going Blank Again. It ended with a stellar sounding take of early single "Chelsea Girl" that was quickly paced and spiked with sections of Sonic Youth style noise sludge.

Ex Hex and Mac McCaughan & The Non Believers at Richmond's Strange Matter on December 9th
You know that it is going to be a good night of music when the opening act could be a headliner. Mac McCaughan (of indie legends Superchunk and founder of Merge Records) delivered a thrilling set of guitar-based indie rock with his backing band The Non Believers that included terrific songs like "Box Battery" and a superb cover of under-appreciated Richmond indie band Honor Role's "Southern Girls." (I am gonna have to find a record by them some day.) Ex Hex followed it up with a raucous and rocking set featuring many moments of instrumental interplay between vocalist/guitarist Mary Timony and bassist Betsy Wright. Maybe I am biased because this show was in my hometown, but it felt special.

A Singular Experience at Big Sur’s New Camaldoli Hermitage

Most people drive through Big Sur’s stunning South Coast with no knowledge that a group of Roman Catholic monks reside in a unique community two miles above Highway 1. Even less folks know that members of the general public can stay at the New Camaldoli Hermitage and experience what the monks refer to as “the precious gift of time for a contemplative life.”
While researching the Moon Monterey & Carmel Guidebook, I had the distinct pleasure of spending an evening at the hermitage and experiencing a place that is a world apart from contemporary culture. There, your tethers to technology are abruptly cut. Wi-Fi signals are devoured by the Easter egg blue sky, and the most transfixing screen around is the giant Pacific hanging down from the horizon.
I stayed in a private hermitage, which was essentially a trailer with a view that a Silicon Valley type would sell a start-up to own. It had basic amenities including a bed, a restroom, a desk, a fridge, and a stovetop. This being a retreat run by devout Roman Catholics, the trailer was “decorated” with a crucifix over the bed, rosary beads, and other religious items that may make some uneasy.
More relateable for a guest who hadn’t been to a church service in over a decade was a framed quotation on one wall that basically summed up why 17 men were living up here in solitude. It was a framed copy of St. Romuald’s Rule that said in part: “Sit in your cell as in paradise. Put the whole world behind you and forget it. Watch your thoughts like a good fishermen watching for fish.”
With the absence of cell phone signals and laptop update chimes, thoughts emerged from the silence like sleek, meaty creatures from the deep. Sitting at a strategically placed bench with a sweeping South Coast view, I looked up and saw a sky freckled with stars. In the distance, the Piedras Blancas Lighthouse waved a wand of light over the land and sea that washed away the stars for a few seconds.
There, humanity and civilization seemed truly dwarfed by nature. The few lights strung haphazardly along the Big Sur Coast were pale reflections of the pinpoint power of the stars above. The highway below was a faint band on the mountains that seemed as transitory as a high tide line or a ring of detritus in a drained bathtub.
I had been describing Big Sur with words for almost two decades, and I had begun to repeat myself like an old blues musician. Suddenly, I was flush with fresh imagery and ideas. Old thoughts and attitudes were thrown out like dirty bathwater.
To use modern jargon, the New Camaldoli Hermitage is a great place to reboot.
New Camaldoli Hermitage is located at 62475 CA-1, a half mile south of Lucia in Big Sur. 831/667-2456, www.contemplation, Overnight stays $105-250

Best Shows of 2014

I saw dozens of concerts all over California and beyond this year from burly metal bands in a Las Vegas dive bar to a surf jazz duo in an old Venice Beach speakeasy. Of course, most of the shows I caught were in my local area, which is the greater Monterey Bay region. Here are the dozen standout shows from 2014 that continue to reverberate in my mind. They are listed in chronological order. Below this list are snippets from the shows and links to a few, fuller concert write-ups that I did this year for Relix Magazine.

Pixies at Big Sur’s Henry Miller Library on April 15th

My younger self would have been blown away to learn that decades after almost wearing out a cassette of the Pixie’s timeless 1988 debut Surfer Rosa I would see them perform to just a few hundred people under the redwoods on the California Coast. With Paz Lenchantin (A Perfect Circle, The Entrance Band) filling in as touring bassist for the recently departed Kim Deal, the still ferocious quartet began the evening with “Bone Machine” before ripping into classic tracks including “Gouge Away.”
The star of the show was perennially underrated guitarist Joey Santiago who manhandled his instrument and its electrified amplifier cord on a wild and wooly “Vamos.”Black Francis had played the library a couple of times as a solo artist, but the frontman didn’t acknowledge those performances or address the crowd in any way except for uttering “one more” before ending the evening with a suitably noisy “Planet of Sound.”

DIIV at Santa Cruz’s Catalyst Atrium on April 30th

DIIV’s Santa Cruz performance was a total revelation. Led by diminutive frontman Zachary Cole Smith, who appeared to be dressed in a graduation gown or tunic, the Brooklyn four-piece bettered the songs off their superb 2012 debut Oshin. Though the songs on Oshin have a shoegaze sound, Smith and fellow guitarist Andrew Bailey played the songs with a contagious enthusiasm that caused them to move all over the stage on highlights like “Doused.”
Their set also included a handful of surprises including a few unreleased new songs that sounded as great as anything off Oshin and a hypnotic cover of Dylan’s “Like a Rolling Stone.” The biggest surprise came during the encore when pop starlet (and Smith’s girlfriend) Sky Ferreira joined the band onstage to sing Cat Power’s “Nude as the News.”

The Cure at Napa’s BottleRock Napa Festival on May 30th

The Cure doesn’t make it over to this country often, so when they hit these shores, it’s worth it to hit the road to see them. Performing in the Friday headlining slot at the BottleRock Napa Festival, Robert Smith and company treated the crowd to a generous 33 and a half song set. (More on that half song later.) The show balanced the band’s pop hits (“The Caterpillar,” “Friday I’m in Love”) with darker material (“One Hundred Years,” “Give Me It”). Impressively, Smith himself pulled out several stellar guitar solos throughout the evening.
After the first encore of “A Forest,” the band launched into a parade of hits including “The Lovecats,” “Hot Hot Hot!,” “Freakshow,” “Close to Me,” and “Why Can’t I Be You” before the plug was pulled on the latter song due to the festival’s strict curfew. With so many timeless tracks performed over the two and a half hour set, the band’s performance easily warranted the several hour-long drive to the festival.

Guided By Voices at Santa Cruz’s Rio Theatre on June 10th

Known as low-fi indie rock pioneers, Guided By Voice played like a full-fledged, arena rock band at this Santa Cruz show even though they didn’t have an ocean of fans. Frontman Robert Pollard swung his mic around like a ninja between swigs of Miller Lite, while guitarist Mitch Mitchell did guitar windmills as a cigarette dangled from his mouth during their rocking set.
The band was in Santa Cruz to support three albums: 2014’s Motivational Jumpsuit, 2014’s Cool Planet, and the 20th anniversary of their classic 1994 release Bee Thousand. The crowd ate up favorites from the latter including “Tractor Rape Chain,” “Echos Myron,” and “Ester’s Day.” Just three months later, the band announced that they had broken up for good, meaning that this stellar group will never have a chance to play to a stadium of fans.

Paul McCartney at San Francisco’s Candlestick Park on August 14th

Who was going to join one of the last living Beatles at his special show to shut down the San Francisco sports stadium Candlestick Park? Neil Young? Carlos Santana? Once, McCartney took the stage and began playing “Eight Days a Week” with his great backing band the questions of possible guest stars vanished. A living Beatle was onstage, and there was pretty much no one on earth who would be able to steal the show.
The nearly three hour, 40 song set was essentially a victory lap through one of rock’s best catalogues. It included “Blackbird,” “Eleanor Rigby,” and “Yesterday” along with entertaining stories about Jimi Hendrix, George Harrison, and John Lennon. The evening ended with a run through a section of Abbey Road’s second side suite including “Golden Slumbers,” “Carry That Weight,” and “The End.

Beck at Monterey’s First City Festival on August 23rd

The last time I saw Beck he underwhelmed with a set at the 2008 Outside Lands Festival. With a back injury healed and a stellar comeback album, Morning Phase, Beck was a different beast when he performed the First City Festival’s Friday headlining set. It all began with a high energy “Devil’s Haircut” and took a breather in the middle with mellower material including a bold “Wave” done with footage from space playing in the background.
An unexpected highlight was a trio of tracks from 1999’s Midnite Vultures: “Get Real Paid,” “Sexx Laws,” and “Debra.” The celebratory show ended with an extended jam on “Where It’s At” that made detours into a few cover songs including the Rolling Stones’ “Miss You.” Welcome back Beck.

Monterey Jazz Festival at Monterey’s Monterey County Fairgrounds on September 19th-21st

Every year, the Monterey Jazz Festival is filled with revelatory performances, and this year was no different. Friday night’s highlight was the Robert Glasper Experiment’s set that launched off into space when saxophone player Casey Benjamin started doing otherworldly vocoder-assisted vocals. Throughout it all, drummer Mark Colenburg did some mind-bending work.
Saturday afternoon stretched the boundaries of jazz with sets by Booker T and Gary Clark Jr. It was a real treat to see Booker T lay down the ridiculously funky “Green Onions” on organ and also strap on a guitar for a cover of Hendrix’s “Hey Joe.” Though Clark is touted as the next Hendrix, he didn’t touch his “Third Stone From the Sun”/If You Love Me Like You Say” mash-up. The set was more scattershot than his October 2013 performance at Oakland’s Fox Theatre, but his gutsy guitar flight on “When My Train Pulls In” was one of the best songs I saw played live all year long. Saturday ended with a barrage of hip hop from The Roots that rankled a few jazz purists. It included a medley that dipped into Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” which was a daring maneuver at this long running and prestigious festival.

Thurston Moore Band and Sebadoh at Santa Cruz’s Catalyst Atrium on October 9th

A tour featuring two of my favorite acts: the underrated indie rock act Sebadoh and Thurston Moore, formerly of Sonic Youth? There was no way I was going to miss this one. Sebadoh’s set was a blast of nostalgia and noise with the trio generously dipping into many of its gems from 1994’s Bakesale. Songwriters Lou Barlow and Jason Lowenstein switched back and forth between guitar and bass on songs that ranged from heartfelt to barrages of knotty indie rock.
As for the headliner, the new quartet led by Thurston Moore did the near impossible feat of playing most of their new album The Best Day to a mesmerized and engaged crowd who had never heard it before. (It would be released two weeks after the show.) Part of the new band's power came from the interplay between Moore and his new guitarist James Sedwards. While Moore contributed punky riffs and slabs of noise, Sedwards would add a killer straight ahead guitar solo to standout songs in the set including single "The Best Day." On other songs, the impressive improvisational nature of the band shined strong like when the seven minute long instrumental "Grace Lake" was stretched and twisted into an unexpected 20-minute epic. This amazing night of music showcased indie rock at its finest.

Tinariwen at Big Sur’s Loma Vista Gardens on October 30th

This band of rebel musicians from Mali played music that was somehow both familiar and wholly exotic at their intimate, outdoor show in Big Sur. The familiar element was the group’s hypnotic guitar grooves that recalled the rough around the edges primal blues of Junior Kimbrough and R.L. Burnside. These killer grooves were topped frequently with chants in the North Africans’ native language. The crowd in Big Sur couldn’t understand the lyrics but the band’s powerful music elicited excitement and created a real connection between the group and its audience.

Hiss Golden Messenger at Santa Cruz’s The Crepe Place on November 10th

After seeing a superb show by Hiss Golden Messenger at Big Sur’s Fernwood way back in 2007, I have always kept an eye on this superb band led by Californian turned North Carolinian M.C. Taylor. Returning to the West Coast for a fall tour, Hiss Golden Messenger’s show at the intimate Crepe Place made many compelling cases for me to keep following this band far in the future.
Led by Taylor with valuable assists from bassist Scott Hirsch and guitarist/organist Phil Cook, the group brought songs from their newest album Lateness of Dancers to life with a serious groove. Surprisingly, they didn’t play the upbeat “Saturday’s Song,” but Hiss Golden Messenger did find time to do their own take on Waylon Jennings’ classic “Lonesome, On’ry and Mean.” The show ended with Taylor doing a stunning version of Lateness of Dancers standout “Drum” while in the crowd.

Angel Olsen at San Francisco’s Great American Music Hall on December 1st

Dressed in a glittery orange dress, singer/guitarist/songwriter Angel Olsen and her band had a large San Francisco crowd enthralled as they performed a set that included dips into country, folk, and indie rock. Her band was great especially the guitarist, but the most arresting section of the show occurred when Olsen performed without her backing band. The highlight was a goose bump inducing “White Fire” where Olsen’s voice and guitar kept the giant crowd captivated and dead quiet.
Though a situation kept me from seeing all of opener Kevin Morby’s set, some of the songs I heard evoked both Bob Dylan and the Velvet Underground. I’ll be sure to further investigate music by this former Woods bassist.

Relix Pixies in Big Sur Article:
www.relix.com/reviews/detail/pixies

Relix Guided By Voices in Santa Cruz Article:
www.relix.com/reviews/detail/guided_by_voices_in_santa_cruz

Relix Monterey Jazz Festival Article:
www.relix.com/reviews/detail/monterey_jazz_festival

Relix First City Festival Article:
www.relix.com/reviews/detail/first_city_festival

Hiss Golden Messenger at The Crepe Place

Weeks ago, I saw that Hiss Golden Messenger was scheduled to perform on November 10^th at the small Santa Cruz venue, The Crepe Place. It seemed like it could be an ideal winter show: a spare acoustic performance by frontman M.C. Taylor whose songs have questioning lyrics that are ideal for this season when thoughts turn inward.

What I and the dozen others experienced at Hiss Golden Messenger’s performance was something far different but equally suited to the season: a bunch of crockpot country funk songs seasoned by a full band including the stellar Scott Hirsch on bass and a ripping Phil Cook on guitar and organ. The set was surprisingly hearty and sustaining like a good stew or chili.

At times, the band had shades of J.J. Cale’s sly guitar grooves. Near the end of their set, the group did a version of Waylon Jenning’s superb country classic “Lonesome, On’ry and Mean” in their unique style. The show ended with the band getting in the crowd and playing their song “Drum” with Taylor instigating the crowd to sing the lines: “Take the good news/ And spirit it away.” It was a truly powerful and communal experience.

Behind the Scenes of Moon Santa Barbara & The Central Coast

In many ways, a guidebook is as important for what it leaves out as what it includes. There were a few places I went while doing research on Moon Coastal California and Moon Santa Barbara & The Central Coast where I thought, “I travel here so you don’t have to.” Of course, these disappointments, near misses or just plain unworthy places are not included in the books. There are so many worthwhile attractions, restaurants, parks, recreation activities, bars and more in the regions covered in these books that there is no reason to lead a reader to a place that is not up to par.

One example of a spot that did not make the cut for inclusion in Moon Santa Barbara & The Central Coast is a place of lodging in an agricultural town outside of Ventura. There are a few worthwhile sights in this area to warrant coverage of the region in the guidebook, but I would never recommend one establishment that I spent one painfully fearful evening in.

There was a major sign that the motel, which had a couple of almost glowing reviews on the Internet, would not be book worthy as I walked towards an ambitious tower-like building where the lobby was located. The sign was actually a sign: a banner haphazardly hung up on the building that announced rooms were available at nightly, weekly, and monthly rates.

When I walked into the motel’s shabby lobby, there was also something else that made me skeptical of the handful of positive Internet reviews of this motel that I had found: every corner of the room had a security camera perched in it like a quiet, malevolent spider. It was a crowded holiday weekend with all of the other area establishments booked up, so I checked in with the night desk lady anyway even though she was busy attacking some leftovers with a fork.

Up the stairs and down a hallway lined with a shabby, faded rug I went to the doorway of my room. The door was a slab of crappy wood that was strangely too small for the doorway it was in. Even worse, I noticed that the wooden door had been chipped away near the doorknob by someone I’m guessing had been trying to break into the room.

Luckily, my key worked, and the door swung open to reveal a room that looked like it would have been considered run-down a couple of decades ago. The furniture was rickety and appeared to have been purchased at an old elementary school’s garage sale. I knew that it would be unwise to see what was under the bed or under any of the furniture so I sat on the edge of the bed and turned on a device that a millennial would never be able to identify as a television.

When hunger struck, I turned off the giant, thick screen TV and walked out in the hallway. I moved towards the staircase and passed by two young men in sleeveless white T-shirts. Every part of their exposed bodies—including their necks—were covered in sinister tattoos of snakes and daggers.

After passing them, I turned to look back at them to see if they were really as stereotypically evil looking as I thought they appeared at first glance. Surprising to me, they had stopped walking too and were looking towards me while whispering.

I continued on but was shaken. Thankfully, the Mexican restaurant next door to the motel was quite good and a couple of Coronas soothed my nerves.

By the time I got back to my room, I was eager to get the evening over with so I could move on to better accommodations the next day. I turned on the ancient TV and lay down on the bed with all my clothes on.

I turned off the lamp on the battered nightstand and looked over towards the door. Since the door was smaller than the doorway, the light from the hallway came into the room from all sides. But as I looked at the doorway something caused me to suck in my breath and hold it. The bottom of the doorway darkened due to the presence of an individual standing right outside of my room in the hallway.

Eventually, I started to breathe, but the light under the doorway was still blacked out by someone who was standing ominously just feet and a crappy piece of wood door away from me. After what felt like the length of a thriller film, the shadow in the doorway finally left. Maybe it was just someone standing and texting right in front of my door? Or maybe it was one of those sinister tattooed guys standing there preparing to chisel away at my battered door so that he could get in my room and rob a stupid out-of-towner?

I thought about my options. I was in the middle of nowhere, and every other lodging option in the area was booked for the holiday weekend. My fear subsided, and I realized I was wiped out from traveling.

I got up from bed and opened the single pane sliding glass window of my room. I looked down 10 feet and realized I could survive a jump from this height if necessary. I left the window open.

Then I sat on the edge of my bed and looked toward the doorway. I stared for a half hour, and another shadow didn’t appear.

Still, I dragged all of the battered furniture in my room including the TV stand in front of the too-small door as a precaution. If someone broke through the flimsy door, they would stumble over the hill of furniture, waking me up before they could reach me and stab me with a knife. By then, I reckoned, I would have jumped out the open window and run to my nearby car.

I didn’t sleep well, but I slept and checked out early the next morning. I didn’t get stabbed that night, but you will still be unable to find any mention of this establishment in Moon Santa Barbara & The Central Coast.